Step Three — The Sacred Shift of Letting Go

“Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.”

There’s a moment in recovery when you realize that your best thinking got you here —

and that’s not necessarily a compliment.

That moment? That’s Step Three knocking.

Because while Step One tells the truth (we’re powerless), and Step Two offers hope (a Power greater than us exists), Step Three invites us to do something radical with that information:

To let go.

To hand over.

To trust.

And if you’re anything like me, the idea of surrender felt a little like standing on a cliff’s edge with your eyes closed, whispering, “Okay. I’ll jump.”

The Illusion of Control

For years, I thought control was survival.

Control over how I looked.

Control over how others saw me.

Control over my kids, my partner, my pain.

But Step Three doesn’t ask us to control anything.

It asks us to make a decision to stop trying.

“I can’t do this my way anymore. My way isn’t working.”

This isn’t giving up. It’s giving over.

And that distinction saved my life.

God, As I Understood

When I first came into recovery, I had so much spiritual baggage, I needed a luggage cart just to sit through a meeting.

But the beautiful, freeing thing about Step Three is this:

It’s God as you understand.

No one else gets to define your God.

You don’t need to believe what someone else believes.

You just need to believe that maybe — just maybe — something bigger than you could help carry the weight.

Some days, for me, that Higher Power is God.

Some days, it’s the women who text me back when I’m spiraling.

Some days, it’s simply the willingness to not drink.

And that counts.

Step Three Is a Daily Practice

It’s not a one-time decision.

It’s not a magic wand.

It’s a practice.

Step Three is something I do every morning —

and sometimes again by 9:15 a.m.

It’s a breath.

It’s a pause before the reaction.

It’s the prayer I say in the car when I miss my kids so bad I can’t breathe:

“God, help me not take this pain back today.”

If You’re Stuck, Try This

Write your own Step Three prayer. It doesn’t need to be fancy.

It just needs to be true.

Here’s mine from early sobriety:

“I don’t know what I’m doing. But I don’t want to be in charge anymore. If you’re real, take this from me. Help me trust you just enough to stay sober today.”

I didn’t believe it fully when I wrote it.

But I was willing.

And in this program, willing is enough.

You Can Stop Gripping the Wheel

You don’t need perfect faith.

You don’t need to feel strong.

You just need a decision.

Step Three doesn’t promise instant peace.

But it does promise relief from trying to run the show alone.

And as someone who white-knuckled life for way too long, that relief is holy.

You Are Not Alone

If today is hard…

If surrender feels too big…

If you’re fighting the same old thoughts…

Come back to Step Three.

Let it hold you.

And if you need a sign?

Let this be it:

🕊️ You are safe to let go.

Written by Cassie U for Sober.Buzz