When You’re Healing But Still Hurt

The uncomfortable middle of recovery where progress is real — but so is the pain.

I thought healing would feel better than this.

I thought once I got sober, started therapy, made amends, and did “the work,” the ache would lift.

That the grief would fade.

That the people I lost would circle back, and the holes I carried would finally close.

But healing — real healing — isn’t always clean.

Sometimes, it’s painfully quiet.

Sometimes, it feels like nothing’s changing, even when everything is.

The Myth of the Breakthrough

We talk a lot about breakthroughs.

That one moment where everything clicks. The clarity. The tears. The release.

But what no one tells you is that most of healing happens after that.

In the boring, bruising, honest middle.

The part where you’ve stopped bleeding, but you’re still sore.

The part where you’re saying all the right things, but still crying in your car.

The part where your growth is visible to no one but you.

When Pain and Progress Coexist

Sometimes I feel strong.

Other times, I feel like I’m held together with duct tape and daydreams.

I can journal, meditate, and repeat affirmations — and still feel like my chest is caving in when someone mentions my past.

I can forgive others and still wrestle with forgiving myself.

I can show up to life, fully sober — and still go to bed wondering if anyone notices how hard I’m trying.

And all of that is okay.

Because healing doesn’t mean the pain is gone.

It means I’m learning how to hold it differently.

You’re Not Doing It Wrong

If you’re still hurting while you’re healing, you’re not broken.

You’re not stuck.

You’re not failing.

You’re just human.

You’re adjusting to a world you used to numb yourself to.

You’re standing in feelings you once ran from.

You’re staying when all you used to do was escape.

And that is holy.

That is hard.

That is healing.

This Is What Progress Really Looks Like

Getting back up when no one saw you fall.

Not reacting the same way — even if you still feel the same way.

Choosing honesty when you could’ve lied.

Feeling the sadness and still staying sober.

Going to bed proud, even if the day hurt like hell.

So if today feels heavy, but you’re still here — keep going.

If your heart still aches, but you’re choosing growth anyway — keep going.

If you’re in the in-between, where nothing feels finished — keep going.

You’re not just healing.

You’re becoming.

And that matters — even when it still hurts.

Written by Cassie Uptmore for Sober.Buzz